Vivre en été

Made by Stefana 2010/5/30

“Vivre en été” means “live in summer” in le français, and suddenly I wanna write something in English. Maybe that is because sometimes life is too hard for me to conquer, and I have to avoid something to keep my mind in calm. Life is always like the sea, and the calm sea usually give no hint of the storm that is coming.

The power of time is out of my imagination, when I see her at the first sight today, I thought nothing changed, but I was wrong. I totally can not believe the truth: she is not my best friend, the same one when we were young. I tried to help her find herself by all kinds of measures that I can do which will give us the feelings of belonging like before, but I failed. Something is missing.

However, I can not give up. I loved her; I can not throw away all my memories about her. You know that, I spent three years with her, almost every second during that period of time. We laughed, cried, ran and screamed together; we went to the bathroom together everyday; we talked the whole night long and slept together, etc. But events don’t turn out the way my wishes; my hopes were so high that I was doomed to disappointment. It is hard for me to believe that she was afraid to talk with me more. If I said that I don’t know why, I must lie. I know, but I cannot face it, I cannot face the truth.

Mama always said that friends in the future must live in the same level with you. But I didn’t believe that. Now, I have to believe. Time is powerful, it can change all kinds of things that we once thought which would through all eternities. What a perilous time!

I went out of my way to court the true love, true friendship, and all beautiful things that I thought which can lasts for eternity, however, from then on, the moment that I realized that the power of time, I gave up. The simply solitary goal for life——finding forever love in my life, was turned to be a joke in my personal philosophy. The modern world always makes me shudder at one thought about the real life. Such bad knocks as this are generally attack my feelings for love. I really missed her, the girl who used to be with me in the teenager years.

Anyway, life goes on. I can write some words for her to express my sorry about her, but I can not always spend time with her to help her back, I have my own life, my own focus-on things. Some people are destined to be passerbys in my life, there is no need to be sad about these things any more. Vivre en été, I missed her. Perhaps in the next summer, I can not remember her acts now. I love her, in my memory.

Vivre en été.