I try to write something to calm myself down, but I am not sure whether it works or not. Life is so hard to tell all the truth, I went through so much until now, I told myself that you need a simple life, but I just can’t. Love, betray, loneliness, all these kind of feelings would have killed me, but I am still alive. Live in the real world, sometimes you should be pretend to be others, who is not yourself at all.
Until now, friends, family, classmates, teachers, strangers, all the people I met, I appreciate all of you. Because of all the history, I became myself now. Even though I hated myself before, but now I started to love myself. I have to love myself to maintain all my energy to live on. Nobody said it was easy, we’re all going through too much. I wake up everyday with a bad dream, no one’s on my side I was fighting, but I still can see the light, far away from me.
I saw the most beautiful sunset in Africa, I saw lions running in the Masai Mara, I saw flamingos flying away from the Nakuru lake, I saw people fighting for a maize, I saw people dying for nothing. The world is always bigger than your imagination.
I meet a guy who lived 4 years life for nothing just seeing the world, he walked in Africa for a volunteer, he walked 40 days from one city to another, he kissed the women he liked and said goodbye. I meet a girl lived 3 years life in Europe but keep escaping, escaped from one trouble to another, escaped from one men to another, escaped from one country to another. I appreciate the first one, but I can’t do what he did. I also appreciate the second one, cause I even don’t have enough courage to escape.
How come?! I was a girl who is not afraid of anything. I was a girl that everyone I love was relying on me. I was the girl who went to so many places alone just for one beautiful sunset and one beautiful photo. When?! When the world has changed? Or just me.